Fear - this emotion could paralyse you. When we are really afraid, a common response is the inability to respond. Performance Breakthrough Coach Jensen Siaw shares how you can overcome your fear and succeed anyway.
When fear paralyses you or you take flight by running away, what you are really saying inside is: “I am helpless” or “I am powerless”.
Fear is a near-resignation reaction to life situations. If you allow that fear to stop you, you have given up your power and are resigned to being powerless over it. In this case, you will continue to be controlled by this fear. Whatever your fear is, the fear gets strengthened each time you give in to it.
If you felt the fear but acted anyway, then you have regained some form of power over the emotion. Say you are afraid of heights, you are standing at a height with wobbly knees but you step out to complete the flying fox challenge anyway. Or you fear approaching strangers for prospecting but you join your colleagues anyway for street canvassing. Congratulations! You have gained some degree of power over the fear. The fear could get weakened depending on the outcome of your experience.
Unconscious fears
What we have been discussing so far is known as conscious fears – fears that you know you have.
The other type of fear is unconscious fears – fears that you don’t know you have. Unconscious fears reside in your subconscious mind and usually do not rise up to your conscious awareness.
Some examples of unconscious fears include fear of success, fear of money, fear of intimacy, fear of becoming like your parents, fear of the next step, fear of commitment, and fear of your own power.
It might sound rather ridiculous that you could be afraid of things that you said you wanted – success, money, and intimacy. But it happens to many of us.
Ask yourself the following questions:
If you were 100 times more successful than you are now, what/who would you become? Can you accept that within your moral and ethical values?
If you were a multimillionaire or billionaire where you could buy anything from your wildest imagination, what dark secrets would you fulfil? Can you accept that within your moral and ethical boundaries?
If you were in a relationship where there is not only physical intimacy but also emotional intimacy where you open up your heart totally to your partner and show your weakest side and darkest secrets, how does that sound to you? How ready will you be to do that?
Pursue your desired outcome
When we are afraid of the things that we said we want, how possible is it that we will get them? This is a situation of incongruence within.
When you have unconscious fears about what you consciously want, you have internal conflict and this will result in you not getting it easily or even at all.
In the pursuit of a desired outcome in any areas of your life, a conscious fear could paralyse you from taking the next step. An unconscious fear would cause you to sabotage your own efforts, making it very tough for you to reach your destination.
Every instance where you do not achieve what you want, it is a good chance to check within for any unconscious fears that might be pulling you backward.
Jensen Siaw is an International Motivational Speaker and Performance Breakthrough Coach who specialises in coaching leaders and sales professionals to achieve better performance, productivity and results. Jensen Siaw is also the Managing Director of Jensen Siaw International (SPEAK For Life Group) which is the official training partner of Asia Advisers Network.
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